Yes It's Tamarra AKA Tammy Ram! I had an amazing break and wished it lasted longer. Im glad to be back though. My favorite cousins came over. They're gonna move soon. *Sigh. (One of them said I looked like Dora lmfao. Is that true?). The weekend is gonna be super nice. And again another family issue. My family is complicated enough, but anyways my "Aunt" got admitted to the hospital, for some disease, I forget. I'm sleepy again. Rich was on me today, and I am so not in the mood to be bossy or be bossed round. This morning was crazy. My step is really starting to bug me. Every night everyone yells at each other, mainly him doing the yelling. I dread having to come home and everyone is there yelling. (Fighting between my brother and sister constantly, annoying neighbor kids.)I feel tense when he walks into a room. I started to cry one night because everything was so bad. He's also a smoker, and every time I go into the bathroom after he smoke, I can feel my lungs tightening. It's getting worse. I'm scared to get cancer from secondhand smoke. I know people with cancer, and someone who has died from it. Idk how I feel about him. It's not love, and Its not hate, so I don't really have any feeling toward him. Don't get me wrong he's nice and everything, but when we do try to build a relationship, he does something to mess it up, like blow up at people and take his anger out on them, and I can't take that.
I'm OD emotional lately, mainly relationship stuff. I'm not In one but, when I hear people talk about theirs I feel kinda bad and left out. I'm like the only one in my circle of friends that's alone. I like to see people really happy and help them If they're having issues. It just kills me to hear people say how they love someone, and have someone there for them, and I don't have that... Family is nice or whatever, but I cant talk to them about anything, and it a different type of love. Blah. I tell myself it'll be another problem to worry about it. I also realized my mind has started to wander off a lot, and think about stuff.... Idk what it is. I guess the summer is coming, my birthday is coming soon, I'm gonna graduate, going away to college, all these deposits, leaving all my good friends, Working here, teenager problems. Too much to think about, for me anyway. OK ENOUGH with complaining about my minor problems, I hope to get my memoir posted, and at least done writing my Obesity story. I haven't gotten around to it yet. I cannot handle EIC right now. And I think I said that because of everything getting to me, but yeah, that's how I feel. I know I'm bound to have another breakdown sooner or later. Anyways, let me finish posting peoples blogs and write my story. Later......
PS I read a good book and I'm reading A REALLY good book.
One flew over the cuckoos nest and The kite runner. I recommend them highly.
--Tammy Ram is over and out.
