Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm back

Well, i've had a bunch of work over the past few weeks. I had 2 english projects one after another, my global term project to work on, and to top it off, I've gotten sick with some stomach virus. Since in my school i can't miss a test(Bronx Science), i had to come, sick and all, take the test, then at the end of the day, go home and lay down. Since i'm on spring break, i have a lot of time to make up the work and now i can come back to work on my story.

Im Back! I guess :-/

Ok, so this is the deal a lot of things happened over the course of three to four weeks. Between home, school, and work, all hell broke lose in my life. Im not sure what else to say because im not the type of person to talk about my problems. It's funny because as long as i've been writing these bloggs no one has responed, not that i exspected anyone to write back but gosh it would be nice to hear from someone. but its ok. What's been helping me excape from reality is my music.It's became my life and now, thats all that important to me besides getting into college.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


i am sooooo worried because all CUNY'S are rejecting me, as of now only BMCC has accepted me and am soo pissed off because my mother do not want me to go to BMCC, because is not a great school. Am also worried because am waiting for city college response, and am almost certain that they will reject me because if, Lehman, and queens college rejected me, then city for sure will reject me, and i am soo scare because it is the only CUNY that has my career. My mother is also worried because she do not want me to go to BMCC, and i am not going to Albany or buffalo because they are just to far away from the City. Well, i hope that next time i write i have the good news that i got into City college!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

another day

work rendering my story that's almost finishing into final cut pro and trying to edit it even tho this is my first time but i think i got this just need to be focused....had nice day today no school lols the best thing ever went to the virtual enterprise trade fair i hope senior investors got many investors because i am sure we all want to save money for our future but i am ridiculously tired my back is hurting and i am sleepy but thank god i did all my 35 homeworks last night so today i am homework free i just want to fall asleep and rest i'll update later adios

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


At work almost done with my summer movie reviews downloading the video on quicktime o see if it can finally get to final cut pro I am packed with so much homework tonight no time to talk or anything because my GPA went far too down and I need to bring it back up but I am so tired everything else that's happening right now is in the back of my head because it's that less important compare to reality and my education comes before it all and my life is great and I can live without that part of my life so why not just go stress free and let everything be the way they are if that's how it suppose to be then thank god if not then may he fix it but whatever it is I am happy because everything is great I am still breathing I have shelter and everything I need in my life why stress and confuse myself about little things that never last forever hat are temporary mostly about people who don't know how to act nor appriciate what god have brought into their lives just life your life if someone in your life is messing up let them because if that is meant to be it'll come right back to you because you can do so much better then let anyone but yourself control your mind and heart

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

ugly day

Tired at work now catching a mean headack and I am so sleepy for god knows what reason lols I mean because I was on the phone like the whole night I tried to go to sleep but I didn't. Just had a final cut pro lesson now doing this blog then put my story together I can hardly see what I am typing. so It's time for me to stop now bye bye will post later because my head is spinning and my mind is everywhere too much is going on right now I am so lost and confused but hey thank god I am still on my feet working my a** off to be better every other day despite everything that is happening

Tongue Ring

So i got my tongue pierced

Monday, March 22, 2010


Hey guys. Haven't wrote on this thing in forever. Im here on Monday which is one of my days off but I came to get my timesheet signed and Seli's not even here. I don't know what I'm going to do but maybe Chrisitian can sign it... Anywhoo, my weekend was okay. I stayed in and just chilled. I was at my dad's house all day yesterday. He had me running errands, washing his clothes and what not. I called my old friend from middle school to come help me. She lives a few blocks from my dad's house. So we just caught up and talked for a few hours.

My dad's "shawty", so he likes to call her came and cooked. she made chicken parmesan w. spagetti and homemade garlic bread. It was great. My friend Ashley & I teared that food down. Aside from that school was okay today. I made it to all of my classes on time and I did my work. My grades should be coming up this marking period. I'm gone, need to work on my story.

im sooo happy

i juss love liife life izz just tha greatest ever i had the best day ever and my life izz going great and i enjoy liiving alone and havving house partys everyother weekend and my mom coming over 2 clean and do foodshopping 4 meh and going out when evver i want 2 end comming home when evver i want 2 i love going out with my friendz to get my nailzz n feet done love the best part is going the shoppingg with my $550 amonth allownce and gettingg what evver i wnt liife izz good!!!!!!!!my boo loves meh n sometiimes weh spend the night at eachothers house and in theeend i alwayz go 2 skool get good grades .,look cute beh happy beh wit my friendzzand yea go 2 church evvery now n then tidth share my welth im goingg 2 beh happy!!!! love u bii
At work, catching this mean headack life is too funny at times its true when they say the people you love and care for the most are the ones to mostly likely kill you slowly they are killing you without notice its a slow death that you can only feel but cant ever realize until its too late. sometimes i wonder why god put us through so much i cant stop asking why i wish for some answers someday i'll be waiting patiently for answers to all my questions. life is so hard when things feel like they getting back together everything comes apart again, and its time to start all over again but you don't even know where to begining from because you are left at nowhere.

I lived my whole life thinking that when someone loves another with all their heart and care for them they are supposed to be loved and cared for the same way but as i grow more i realize that its all fantasy because this world is so much more different the people you care for and love the most are the people who tear you apart and treat you like you mean nothing to them like you just some piece if trash laying around waiting for them but it's never like that i truly believe that when someone loves you and cares for you, you should love them and care for them the same way because pay back is a b**h and it will hunt you down because if you hurt someone that loves you someone who you love will one day hurt you in the meanest of ways but hey as they say this is life it goes on we all have our ups and downs we just have to learn how to deal with them and move on with our lives

Spring Cleaning....

Well its officially Spring! and that means Spring Cleaning! We have successfully revamped and freshened HarlemLIVE. I am pretty bummed that now Spring has started but it will rain for the next two weeks ultimately ruining spring break. Hopefully the future wont unravel itself that way. Considering how the weather has gone the last week I wasn't expecting this sort of weather.
The biggest news come this spring was the passing the Health care Reform! Even though some questions were left open ended, we are one step closer to becoming a nation of good humans. Over the weekend I did go to Coney Island. It was nice we went to the kiddie carnival area. Some rides were closed but lines were short and the weather was fantastic.

future meeeeee

idk im lost riite now cause im not even sure what i wanna be in liife anymore im stuck i use 2 have it all planed outr but now its liike the closer i get to my future tha more lost and confused i get about who n what i wanna be!!!!! before i use 2 want 2 be a singer soooo bad buhh little did i knw i couldn't singg then once i got to my new school i then relised i wanted 2 act i wnted to beh dramatic and be on stage!!!! but now its like i dnt knw what i wanna do in liife anymore!!! i dnt wanna beh on tv anymore cause i just wanna live a normal; liife likke i dnt wanna deal witha tabloidzz and ppl starting rumors n all other tyupes on nonsense liike i just dnt wanna even deal with it i want a good paying job that i love that doresnt involve tv.

AM Back!!!

am finally back.!!! i am super excited to finally be back to HL. Its been 2 months since the last time i was here. I came really excited expecting to see Selli, because i had a LONG time without seeing her, but unfortunately she was not here, but christian was here, and i was very excited to see him. Things at HL have changed a lot since i was last here. Everything now is very organized and i see that now everybody have a story to work on. Also Jason is not here, and there is a girl named Aisha who is now here helping the students.I am very excited because now am going to be doing office worked, and i soooo love paper work!!! so am excited to see how that goes.

Now am trying to get my life back together, because i did horrible last marking period in school. I had a 46.21%, which is terrible, because i was used to seeing 85 and above average on my report card. Now am doing soooo much better because i started to go to my 1st period class, and am not missing any of my classes, and i started to come to HL again, which is GREAT!!!

Can you trust em'

"baby i care for you".blahh blahh blah. That the first thing most girl believe when a guy tell them that. "baby your the only one I'm messing with" umm yeah right. High school guys are so into their self. They tell girls what they wanna hear, lie and spread thing that is not even true.

Well to start things off their this boy in my school, he was trying to talk to me since December. My friend told me not to even bother with him. But im the type of girl that wants to find out things out on her own. Everything started off good between us, he cooked for me, we chilled, he told his friend im his boo, he wanted me to meet his family and blah blah blah. Omg i thought that was soo cute. From the first time he got my number he called all the time, after a while the calls began to become less and less. I thought it was good between us, meaning that him & I never did nothing, he never brought the topic up, that was something different. A little more then two weeks ago the calls came to a stop. Word got out that him & i was dating. He's the type of person that doesn't like people in his business. I guess that's the reason he wanted to be friends.

This weekend I found out that he was wifey up, i found out that he told people he had sex with me. At the end of the day he lied on himself. So my ? is can you trust em', When little boys act like this. Would you trust em'

Thursday, March 18, 2010

At HL, I was outside for like 15 mins before I got in these ridiculous boys outside like for real don't stop me I am not interested in talking to you. It's so dead in here today like I don't know we need more energy in here everyone is just like blahhhhh. We need to work some magic in here today. I am tired and still a little sick I don't know why because I should be feeling better by now. School was so much fun today, we was playing double dutch laugh out loud even though I can't jump rope for nothing but it was so funny because we was recording it and our gym teachers were jumping with us. We had a great time. College people coming back today can't wait wink wink lolss

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A day is not just a day when i'm around

Today really sucked. One i'm hungery. Two, i have no money. Three im full of emotions that makes me depressed. Now i need my fasfa done no matter if my mom did it or not. This is crazy cuz work is not the same but nothing is the same anymore. I'm so tired it not even funny, guys are over here playing games and i dont have time for that. the only person i can say have been here for me while not actually being there is steven. No matter what people may say or think i dont care, i'm glad i'm talking to him and messing with him and being friends. Cuz if its not for him i dont know how i would surivive. On top of all of that my sister tried to kill herself, and this week is not going to be good i can see it. I have this huge scar on my forehead and i know its not going to go away for my birthday. So the rest of my three weeks are ruined. Great. FML.


This Friday is the big day for me! I'm a poet in case you didn't know and this friday I'm performing at the semifinals for the Annual Teen Poetry Slam. For years I been "feenin" to make it to Apollo Theatre. To be on stage in front of all those people make some ppl nervous, but that feeling I get when I'm performing sends me to on a high minus the plants. Performing makes me feel powerful....but more than that. I just can't find the words for it. WISH ME LUCK!

Monday, March 8, 2010

idk man

i dnt evven knw what i wanna do with my liife at this point liike i feel liike acting jusst isnt my callingg anymore!!!!!!!!! i use 2 beh just sooo passionate bout acting n now im not idk what 2 doo imm done

If I could talk to someone dead it would b....

I would loooove to meet and talk to Jimi Hendrix. He is one of the most creative souls that I have ever read about. His music is the epitome of free thought and his guitar playing is a whole another story. He is the reeeaal pioneer of Rock N' Roll. Noo one else has ever blessed the strings of a guitar like that man. So what if he experimented with drugs? That doesnt make him anyless of a genius. Just a misunderstood artist. If Jimi Hendrix was a feeling he would be the great feeling you have when you finally get to sneeze...yes

I Came back... From Ecuador!

So I went to Ecuador for two weeks. And it was a great trip! I loved it. I spent the time with my extended family because I have little family here in the US of A. The weather was beautiful just a constant 60 Degrees and the sun would always set at 6. It was never too hot or to cold. Ecuador is on the Equator so it is a magical place. I wanted to put a picture up but the bloggy thing is not letting me. The place I went to is Cuenca, a city located on the Andes Mountain range. It was full of hills valleys and barely any traffic laws. People went on their own speeds and performed unsignaled turns. The people spoke Spanish, its located in South America, and the food was fresh and wonderful! The place is beautiful because you notice the industrialization and modernization almost colliding with the natural beauty of the country. This opposite was something out of the ordinary and unique. The city features a colonial center that is wonderful with brick paved side walks and fresh market centers. Just by talking I miss it already and all my family. Well back to HL for now.

Rainbows & Butterflies

Today at HL is as usual, structed chaos. As the weather gets nicer procrastination sets in amongst the students. The stories for the upcoming newscast are sluggishly coming along.

Yesterday I was in the 24-hour computer lab at Pace's library for nearly all 24 hours. After leaving the lab at 5 AM with various incomplete assignments; I spent a couple hours chatting with a friend about the usual college student dilemmnas. Unintentially missing the Oscars, I guess my accidentally attempt to finish school work was a mini accomplishment.

Also over the weekend I attempted (again) to party with my friends after failing (again)we resulted to a dance session in the bathroom dorm mirrors. Next time I guess.

"Optimism is key" is the phase I live by. Although the unsuccessful endeavors were discouaging I am hopeful and I believe that the next day will be better than the last.

Todays news

At work now just had a good meal at jumbos and burger king with Amina. She fronting like she don't want to work here over the summer. News is young money CEO Lil Wayne is going to jail today. Many people are happy with this news many aren't; I really like young money I enjoy their music it's really good. Now that Lil Wayne might be in jail I ask myself how is young money going to do with out their CEO? Is everything going to be the same or are things going to change up a little? Is Lil Wayne going to mange his business while in the island or is he going to put into the hands of one of his young money rappers. I also wonder if they are going to be able to succeed without Lil wayne. Well I hope all is well with young money and Lil wayne because he surly is a great rapper and his business looks good for all the people out there that are truly good rappers. This business is not only bring many people together is giving a lot of opportunity to young rappers out here that find it enjoying and worthy for a living career. I believe this is a great cause he is doing regardless of things that he have done in the past, he is showing the world that no matter what happens in your life and no matter the mistakes you make you can always get better and do things to help others that needs it.



Thursday, March 4, 2010

Finally Home

As of March 8,2010 my father will be coming home from a 9 year prson sentence. Im i excited-yes. Am i nervous-yes. I have mixed emotions because i know he is my father, but i don't know him. Hopefully i can relight an old flame and we can build a healthy relationship and a good one. Im SO HAPPY! and at the same time I know alot of bad will come out of this because that just how things are in life people hate,envy,jeolously i just hope nothing dramastic occurs. Ive been waiting so long for this too long if you ask me and i be damn if another excuse or situation will keep me from this.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Hey what is going on with everyone today. My day has been so crazy. all of this college and high school things are driving me up the wall. Filling all of this paper work is a lot of work. But it all will play off at the end of the day. Well ill write to e everyone soon.

Just one of those days

Well today was kind of interesting. Reesse sort of backed away from me now and im starting to worry. I'm not sure if i should come on more to him or back away more. I haven't talked to the love of my life and last night i ran into William at pathmark and boy was it chemistry. I don't know what else to say behind that. Like i like him and i at a lost. A love triangle is one thing but a love square is another. Plus our discussion today in health class was sought of a depressing one for me. So now i'm kind of down hope my spirits will change for later on tonight.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Just the regular day

Today was just a regular day but most of all it was a happy day. Reese and I have gotten closer and my classes are fine. I might have to fail this kid in my class because now he's lying to me about doing his work. So that really sucks. But now that things are looking up i know things are about to get bad. I dont know when but i have that feeling. It's just the way things work with me. I know it sucks. I have nothing else to say right now because things are going good.

School is tiring

Today at school, the funniest thing happened... My chem teacher was absent so we went to study hall. I played Chinese poker w/ some friends. we all won at least one game each. But thats not the funny thing. The funny thing that happened was i fell asleep in english class and had a dream about the book we were reading, A Tale of 2 Cities, and I was in the story talking to Jerry Cruncher and Sydney Carton. When I woke up, we were discussing Sydney Carton and I was able to go in depth about him, due to my dream.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Wrongs of Woodhull Hospital

Ok I have a story that is totally crazy. On Wednesday, Febuary 24, 2010, My mother was going into that hospital to have a check up. Where she had seen an elderly lady and decided to help her into a seat. Yet at the same time the nurse called my mothers name where my mom told her that she will be there in a moment when she finished helping the lady. Even though my mother told her serveral times that she will be right there, the nurse still had an additude and on top of that she was known for being rude. When my mother was finally able to get her check up the lady was waving papers in her face and yelling about her to another nurse. So my mother ended up choking her, then the nurse bit my mother and my mom just started punching her. Though my mother was the only one caught on camera hitting the nurse the nurse got off scotch free, wile my mom went to jail. Where they messed up her paper work causing her to stay long in jail. She finally got out Friday, Febuary 26,2010. Even though this woman is my mother doesn't mean I'm taking sides it's just how it went. Life really is unfair and it just happens it was my mother this time.

Snow Day

School has been so tiring. Thats why i'm glad about the past snow day on Friday. It was a way for me to catch up on sleeping and massive video game playing. Today, I'm back at HarlemLive and I hope to come up with good ideas for stories. The time i spend at HarlemLive I hope will be beneficial to me and all the other people here.