IT'S EARTH DAY!
Earth Day is TODAY and this is the funniest cartoon. Lol.
It feels good to be back at HarlemLive a little. Don't get me wrong like I enjoyed my time off of school and the little vacation even though during Spring Break I had a bit of bad luck it's still good. But for me HarlemLive is like a way for me to get away from reality and all the bs that goes on in my daily life or whatever. Besides me getting the experience that is another reason why I like coming to HarlemLIve.
Lately I guess these past couple of days or whatever I just been on my happy mode. I don't know what it is that was making me like this. Maybe it's because my 18 birthday is coming up--it's May 9th if you didn't know and thats in exactly 17 days.
Well my extreme happiness got ruined last night when I found out my great grandmother is back in the hospital or whatever and it's so scary. I don't know like I don't like seeing people in pain or hurt in general whether it's mentally or physically and hospitals to me are the worst. Like I'm to afraid to see her I only went to see her like three times when she first was admitted but I haven't even gone to see her recently. I don't know how to handle or deal with it at all. Like I haven't experience a serious sickness in the family in a long time except for when I was younger. When your younger it's much easier because your basically kept in the dark by a lot of the things thats going on so you don't have to experience all the sad feelings or see whomever's going through the pain suffer but as a teen its HORRIBLE well at least for me. I cant even get to or by the hospital without crying and I don't even have to see her yet. And when I do see her the crying and headaches only get worst and I can't stand it at all. Like even the days when I went to see her and she wasn't looking so sick and helpless I still cried. Like I seriously can't handle that. And then everybody telling me everything is going to be okay and how she's going to be alright and stuff but they don't know that for sure. Like I don't know even though I'm afraid to see her God forbid something happens to her like I don't know if I am going to regret my fear of being afraid to see her on her God forbid "last days." Like this whole things scares me and really bothers me and then the fact that I have to come home and hear my mother complain about me not going to the hospital to see her or my grandmother trying to like force me and it's like they make me feel sooooo bad.
Like sorry but I just had to let these feelings out before I exploded.
